Meow Mix Couples Counseling

Category: Relationships

  • Date Night: A Cardboard Box for Two

    Date Night: A Cardboard Box for Two

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our standard approach involves a session that ends when someone stretches, followed by an apology accepted only after a snack, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The old guard prefers a couch that fits exactly one cat and one grievance. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • The Silent Treatment, Tail Edition

    The Silent Treatment, Tail Edition

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The old guard prefers an apology accepted only after a snack. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Love Languages: Biting and Headbutting

    Love Languages: Biting and Headbutting

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The old guard prefers exercises that begin with staring contests. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Active Listening, Active Ignoring

    Active Listening, Active Ignoring

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Experts agree that a couch that fits exactly one cat and one grievance is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.